Majority wins?

I've been part of a few teams now. Small teams, big teams, humongous teams, imbalanced teams, teams teeming with talent and teams reeking of indolence. Teams, teams. Some more teams.

When it comes to making decisions collectively, team leaders are only doing their duty in being politically correct and organizing a vote. But is it always the best thing when majority wins?

I've learnt otherwise.

Obviously, I can't exemplify through personal experiences considering I'm still part of a lot those teams. And want to remain part of them. Heh.

It seems real right, doesn't it, the concept of a vote? I mean, obviously the options would be deliberated upon individually by each member and using their experience and insight, a personal choice would be made, which if part of the majority would be the right choice.

Idealism.

That's the flaw with voting.

It's only in an ideal situation that an individual's choice isn't affected by foreign influences. It's only in an ideal situation that the rationale behind each individual choice was perfect. It's only in an ideal situation that the members of the team are intellectually mature (read: s.m.a.r.t) enough to deliberate upon the subject of the vote.

Of the above 'idealistic assumptions', one stands out as being the most idealistic: the assumption that alien influence upon a voter's thought process is non-existent.

During a vote, there is a high tendency that each voter loses his identity to his peers, the voters . Even though an option doesn't seem like the best option for the team as a whole, an influential voter can single-handedly turn the tide of a vote such that the option he votes, is the majority's option. It happens. Much too often.

Bureaucracy in an institution is  a direct result of hierarchy. Hierarchy is, to an extent, the result of democratic titling of people. Dictatorship suddenly seems so. much. more. efficient. Hell, it is. Alexander, Caesar and Hitler conquered nations. Single people. Not bureaucratic, politically correct governments. Without too much insight, it seems rather counter-intuitive to the logical mind that a dictator's efficiency mauls that of a government; aren't dictators 'bad'? But it does.

I know you know, I'm just saying!

From the eyes of an aesthete

*stuff edited out*

Look at what those morons - ahem - esoteric bunch of scientists at MIT, possessing never-before-heard-of IQ levels through the gene mutation therapy their Stanford counterparts have devised for them, are doing with the Standard Atomic Model. They hack away at it like it's a cake or something. Why? So that it works. Well, yeah, d'oh, that's what they do, they make things work.

It really repulses when things are made to work, though. Like in Chemistry. The exceptions. Hell, there seem to be more exceptions than rules! It's like a whole bunch of kludges were mashed up to form the subject we know as Chemistry.

But on the other hand, I think my aesthete-tendencies are a shortcoming more than anything else. I could make this sound less like I'm whining and more like a philosophical discourse, but here goes nothing. Being an aesthete seems to stem from my disability to handle complications. Maybe complications aren't all that bad. It's only because I find complications, well, too complicated to deal with, that I loathe them.

Everything is indeed a complication. We should've had boxes for bodies if absolute simplicity was absolute beauty. The fact is, we don't. And that clearly proves that it isn't. It's just that some of us can handle complications while others can't. And it's not just that. Some of us can handle 'more complicated' complications while the rest of us can't.

I, me and myself: Egotist musings

I've always wanted to blog about myself forgetting that I might have an audience reading the entry. And here I am, doing just that. Hell, it's okay if it changes your perception of me, I'm not about to care. It's all part of my plan to get rid of my consciousness.

I, am a very jealous person. Just short of having emerald green eyes pierce when I set them upon you. But my jealousy isn't very materialistic. Id est, I don't care if you have a swanky cell phone, a gold-studded watch or a designer tee. What I do care about though, is if you have raw brainpower, organizational ability, a clear mind, focus and/or determination. Out of which, I really do care if you're high on the raw brainpower bit. I can envision myself greasing and oiling my cogs and getting at par to where you are with your focus, determination and whatnot. But what I can't envision myself doing, is getting more cogs themselves. Thus, with the notion that the number of cogs per head is a constant, in an effort to calculate my 'constant,' I end up making guinea pigs out of my acquaintances, benchmarking them in terms of their 'constant' and thereby building this great big hierarchy up in my head of 'constants'. Constants, constants and more constants.

I also am one hell of a perfectionist. Perfectionism is not always a good thing if it isn't backed up by perseverance. Yes, perfectionists who lack perseverance do exist. And those kinds, are the worst kinds. They procrastinate away at their work scared that they aren't going to be able to perfect it. And in doing so, they end up doing a shoddy job so that they can get it done before a deadline. I, most blatantly fall into this category of people. And I desperately want to change.

My perfectionism isn't all bad, though. I thoroughly love myself when I understand a concept, be it Physics, Computer Science or Human Psyche because understanding for me, is a big thing. It's a milestone that I reach only when I've got a close-to-perfect grasp of the concept in question. And the urge for that kind of grasp, is directly a result of my perfectionism. My design sense, also with which I'm pretty happy, is another consequence of my perfectionism. Perfectionism, perfectionism and more perfectionism.

Another one of my more ostensibly innocent traits, is in being diplomatic. It's part of my don't-piss-anybody-off nature. And while being useful, it's also made me a vile, two-faced scoundrel. Okay, maybe not a vile, dirty, two-faced scoundrel. More like a vile, dirty, low-down, multi-faced scoundrel. In an effort to be pro-everyone, I've more than once had to oscillate among views while sharing them with different people. A bunny-faced monster I'm stopping right in its tracks and getting rid of, this one. I'll still be a diplomat, though. Just not on issues I personally have views on.

Creepy, eh?

Well, that's how I work, sorry.

Sen•si•tivity. A discourse.

A soldier wears a great amount of armour even though it makes him heavier and more clumsy when he sets out for war. He still wears it, but to a lesser extent, when he's out to meet a stranger. And potentially none at all when he is to meet his best friend or such-like.

Analogically speaking, sensitivity is none but a measure of lack of emotional armour. All of us're born with our respective default amounts of emotional armour. To some of us, in plenty.. to others, not as much. See, the probability that someone's going to hurt you, is more when that someone isn't on good terms with you or just generally, when he/she's not known to you. The more of a stranger your acquaintance is, the more emotional armour you tend to wear. Consequently, you tend to put your (emotional) guard down when you're with someone you get along with. Even more, with someone you like and with someone you really like/love, you might go flat-out bosom-exposed, if you know what I mean.

That last kind of people, the kind who you really like/love while expecting love from are, ironically enough, those who wield the power to hurt you the most. Like Julius Caesar's armour, your emotional armour might sustain blows from anyone and everyone, until your very own Brutus stabs your unshielded heart.. because, trust me, with that stab, words will only liken to mere band-aids that dissolve in the leaking blood.

So, is sensitivity a virtue or a vice? A sensitive person is but an unfocused person. This is considering that sensitivity is nothing more than the level of disability of a person to ignore emotional distractions. Cold, insensitive people do the best in this world. Be it a businessman, scientist or a murderer, insensitivity is a prerequisite for success. It's only the cheesy guy who's madly in love who gains from his sensitivity. But then again, lovers don't make it rich and powerful, it's only the businessmen and scientists who do. Yeah, yeah, call me a spoilsport, but don't let your sensitivity get that better of you, it's not worth it. Most of the time, it's only a communication gap that's the cause for the prick in your heart.. and a communication gap shouldn't be the cause of a day wasted brooding.

I'm sensitive. Easily sensitive enough to overpower my rather large ego. But too sensitive for my own good. I'm not complaining, just saying.. because it has come in handy a lot of times.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

-- tAAR

Multi-coloured Q&A, quite literally..

Red

1. Closest red thing to you?

   The emergency light off my table.

2. Have you ever fallen down the stairs?

   Not like the kid in Scary Movie 4, I haven't.
   But yeah, I've missed a step.. and managed a deep cut.

3. Last thing to make you angry?

   This question is taking me more time to answer than I ever imagined it would.

4. Are you a fan of romance?

   Frankly, I don't know.

5. Have you ever been in love?

   I'm thingosexual. My laptop, turned on, turns me on.
   
   Actually, I don't know.

6. Do you have a temper?

   Selectively, with the people I know REAL well (think family.)
   With other people (think not family), yeah, if they did something VERY grave.

Green

1. Closest green thing to you?

   The colour itself. I don't especially like anyTHING green.

2. Do you care about the enviroment?

   I don't like littering. When friends need to litter, I usually ask them to use my pockets.

3. Are you jealous of anyone right now?

   Of a 'lucky' person, yeah.

4. Are you a lucky person?

   How can a person be lucky? If the probability that something happening to someone is a good thing is greater than 50%, yes?
   
   Then again, everything happens for the good.
   So, that's 100%.
   
   Yeah, I'm lucky.
   Everyone is.

5. Do you always want what you can't have?

   If I really want it, I can't get it.
   If I *just* want it, I pro'lly'll get it.

6. Do you like being outdoors?

   Cold windy nights, YES!

7. Are you Irish?

   I use 'amn't' but no, that doesn't make me Irish.
   Isn't Bono Irish?

Purple

1. Last purple thing you saw?

   My blood. Ouch, paper cut.
   Did I mention that I was lucky?

2. Like being treated to expensive things?

   Priceless things, yes.

3. Do you like mysterious things?

   If I don't know about something, it's a mystery to me.
   Now I don't like not knowing about something.
   So, no, I don't like mysterious things.
   

4. Favorite type of chocolate?

   Crunchy.. like Snickers.

5. Ever met anyone in royalty?

   See Question 1 off Purple.
   Well, not really.
   But I do consider people who have 98267" plasma TVs royalty, IF they manage to stoop so low as to talk to me.
   So, yeah, maybe.

6. Are you creative?

   No.

7. Are you lonely?

   It's just me.. and my laptop.
   I'm not lonely.
   I really ain't.

Yellow

1. Closest yellow thing to you?

   The Sun.
   It's the CLOSEST a yellow thing could EVER get to me.
   *sigh*, I wear a yellow and white house-shirt to school every Thursday.

2. The happiest time[s] of your life?

   Okay, now you're pro'lly gonna' ask me to get a life.

3. Favorite holiday?

   Saturday.
   You have 52 of them EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

4. Are you a coward?

   Is that a question? ..'cuz there's no question about it.

5. Do you burn or tan?

   Huh?

6. Do you want children?

   Maybe.

7. What makes you feel safe?

   My back against a wall.

Blue

1. Closest blue thing to you?

   Three blue-colored computer books.
   What did you say?! Were you asking me to a get a life?

2. Are you good at calming people down?

   I'm not a people person, really.

3. Do you like the sea?

   I've never actually seen the sea. So, I really wouldn't know.

4. What was the last thing that made you cry?

   I'm an insensitive bloke.
   Even if I'm not, you think I'll tell you?

5. Are you a logical thinker?

   Being logical involves breaking a problem down to its simplest constituents.. and then solving each of 'em constituents while looking at the big picture too.
   
   Am I a logical thinker?
   What say you?

6. Can you sleep easily?

   Yeah.

7. Do you prefer the beach or the woods?

   I haven't actually been to either.
   The woods, I guess.. if there aren't mosquitoes.

Pink

1. Closest pink thing to you?

   My sister's top in the next room (her room.)

2. Do you like sweet things?

   A little sweet, I like.
   More sweet, I like.
   Much sweet, I like, too.
   Too much sweet, no, I don't like.

3. Like play-fighting?

   Physically.. like for the heck of it?
   It's way fun, yes!

4. Are you sensitive?

   To light, sound, touch, smell and taste, very much, yes.
   To words, even more.

5. Do you like punk music?

   Punk's so 8th and 9th grade.. a li'l bit of Offspring wouldn't hurt, though.

6. What is your favorite flower?

   Superficially, they might seem likeable.. but those pollen can get EVIL.

7. Does someone have a crush on you?

   *raises eyebrow*
   Haha.
   Hahahaa.
   Hahahahahahaaa.

Orange

1. Closest orange thing to you?

   Guitar tuner.

2. Do you like to burn things?

   I used to burn a lot of newspaper when I was a kid. Ask Mom.

3. Dress up for Halloween?

   Isn't that *like* in October?

4. Are you usually a warm-hearted person?

   I'm supposed to be warm-blooded.. unlike 'em dinosaurs.
   My heart sorta' works with blood.
   I know enough calorimetry to conclude that I'm warm-hearted, yes.
   Now, see if you can answer Question 5 off Blue..

5. Do you prefer the single life or the security of a relationship?

   I don't know.

6. What would your super power be?

   I don't wear thick-rimmed glasses, yay!
   ..but seriously, I think knowledge IS power.

White

1. What is the closest thing white to you?

   Tablet a.k.a. digital synthesizer.. I use it a lot with Photoshop.

2. Would you say you're innocent?

   Superficially, yes.
   People say so, too.. but I don't think I'm actually so innocent..
   ..atleast not as innocent as common perception of my innocence.

3. Always try to keep the peace?

   When I can, yeah, very much!

4. How do you imagine your wedding?

   Not happening.

5. Do you like the colour white?

   White = 100% Red + 100% Blue + 100% Green.
   I like all three.
   I really like white, I do, I do, I ddoooo!

6. Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentist?

   I don't like either. Not. one. bit.

7. Do you have Attention Defecit Disorder (A.D.D)?

   You do!
   It's deficit, not defecit.
   Anyway, yes and no.
   Have you seen me at Hindi class?
   I'd be drooling in my sleep.
   No, no! Have you seen me while passing by that magazine stand where they sell Playboy mags?
   I'd still be drooling..

Black

1. Closest black thing to you?

   My very own Dell Precision M90 workstation laptop.

2. Ever enjoy hurting people?

   Ever? Never.

3. Are you sophisticated or silly?

   I have Altec Lansing 2.1s.. I'm sophisticated baby!

4. Would you like to go to space?

   Obviously, yeah.. if I'm guaranteed to be intact on return.. if there IS a return.

5. Do you have a lot of secrets?

   No one person knows everything about me.
   
   98% of my secrets, SOMEone knows.. but that someone ain't just one person, it's spread across a few people.
   
   Maybe it's my insecurity and fear of a single point of failure (in terms of breach of trust.)

6. What is your favorite color(s)?

   • Black,
   • White,
   • Blue (from the Microsoft blue to real dark blue) and
   • Emerald (dark-ish) green.

7. Does the color you wear affect your mood?

   As much as the presence of our Math teacher in class affects the class.
   Not much, I assure you.

Hindi Transliteration!

चेक धिस आउट!

Go Google, GO!

The Resurrection of His Tardiness

You.
Yes, you.
What the hell are you doing here?
..on MY blog?

Well, I'm reading it..

Oh, are you?
Well, that's the reason I haven't been able to blog anymore.
YOU are the cause.

And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

*turns down volume*

Sorry about that.. them Goo Goo Dolls had the better of me there.

As I was saying, I can no longer really blog nowadays.. because more-often-that-not, the subjects of my blogs tend to have associations with.. it's readers.

I could go on about Operating System Concepts and Structured Computer Organization and how I worship Silberschatz and Tanenbaum, but not everyone's a computer geek. Rather, no one is.

So what? I'm in a selfish mood at the moment.. CompSci, it is.

Operating System Concepts is officially THE book for you if you think you know something about Operating Systems but not much of the details. After all, the devils lie in the details.. and this book does one awesome job at tackling 'em demons.

As for Structured Computer Organization, I haven't gotten to it as yet. But it's Tanenbaum -- idealistic and theoretical, as if it was fantasy.

Nope, I didn't hear you asking me to get a life or something to that effect. CompSci IS my life.. it's all I have.

Every time you point your finger
3 more point right back at you
I’m not sayin’ that it’s something wrong with life
’Cause that’s a sad excuse
An age old game of rat and mouse
Chasin’ us from house to house
I’m not sayin’ that is something wrong with you
Is wrong with me as well

Damn, there they go again..

---

I don't think this entry is done.